A new beginning or a new disaster, by Gioryanni Ortega

A new path in life for refugees has its ups and downs. It is no mere coincidence that for some refugees the opportunities offered by a country like New Zealand are the best and we should take full advantage of them. There are many dreams people want to achieve, such as creating their own business, others, on the other hand, want to master the language to keep up with their studies and feel part of the New Zealand community.

Unfortunately, in our countries, like Colombia, we do not have the same opportunities and support to achieve our dreams, because many factors are involved in these; the low economic situation that many families face there is not easy. For example; I come from a large family, mom, dad, me, and 5 siblings. Mom and Dad work hard to give us some education and fit our daily life needs, we all finish high school with effort, however, we cannot do further studies such as have the opportunity to go to university because Colombia has economic disparities between people.
New Zealand has become the place where everything can be achieved, the dream place for children, young, adults, and the elderly who always wanted to have opportunities to achieve goals and dreams, have a better life, and finally, the life reward to them coming to New Zealand. However, not everyone has the same perspectives and positive experiences, since English is a barrier for some people who do not speak English as their first language.
Coming to a country where language is one of the biggest challenges has never been easy.
To understand and to be understood by others is a challenge. It is here where many people, teenagers, adults, and the elderly, do not find a way out or an opportunity. The frustration and the fact of knowing that they need a good command of the language to obtain valued jobs, and attend school become a suffering for them. For example, my younger sister struggled in high school because the language barrier stopped her from making new friends
and fitting into her new school. This was a frustrating experience for her because the joy of enjoying high school became very limited and isolated, and do not understand what the teachers were saying during class. All of these obstacles make her think about dropping out of school.
Family support is very important in these moments when we think we are struggling in our lives there is always someone who cares about us. As a family we started to encourage her and think about the positive things from this opportunity in NZ, I said to her that is not an easy journey in our lives but nothing is impossible if we have hope and faith in our hearts.
New Zealand is a new beginning for some of us a positive change in our life.

However, for others, NZ has become a new disaster where they do not look for opportunities in their lives and creates a big barrier without hope.
What some people don't understand is that wherever they go there are troubles and challenges. And that if for a moment they think about seeing beyond the limit, they could overcome themselves.
During my personal experience in my new beginning in this journey I had ups and downs.
Was not easy, but not impossible. I said to myself I needed to be brave and give others hope and a different perspective from barriers in our lives. I started to study English in November2019 I remember the first class I did not know the alphabet's pronunciation and was my first class, I felt like a baby starting to crawl. I enjoyed it, I was the younger one in the class and that gave me a great example from the adult and elderly who was studying with me. I admired their courage to be there trying to crawl into this English journey. After a few weeks, I started to feel frustrated since I wanted to communicate properly but I could not. I
tried to avoid any conversation with someone in the street, bus, or supermarket. I felt afraid that someone asked me something and I did not know how to respond.
I did my 3 levels of English in Kiwi Class. There were moments of sadness, and
disappointment because I thought that I would not be able to learn this language and be able to move forward to continue fighting for my dreams, for a beautiful future.
After these moments, I knew that I had to have a lot of strength and hope that I would make it, I knew that I had to be strong so that my family would be strengthened by me in this adventure that we were all living.

After finishing my first 3 levels of English where I learned what I needed to try to
communicate in English with others, I decided that I wanted to undertake another journey where I would tackle academic English to pursue my goal of studying a profession in this country.
I was super nervous but I wanted this challenge in my life, I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of taking big steps to achieve my goals. Fortunately, I was accepted at Victoria University to do my academic English level and that day was one of the happiest days of my life. I gave my all during this course, there were again difficult moments, tears that I hid from my family so that they wouldn't see me weak or suffering because of this new language, moments of late nights doing my work but I never gave up. With a lot of effort and dedication, I finished the course successfully.
While I was studying, I worked in my first job as a customer service and online order dispatcher at Nisa. I was lucky to have good work colleagues and great support from my boss who, even though I was still learning English, motivated me and supported me to keep going.
Another challenge in my life, something I was afraid of from the beginning, interacting with people, but I faced this fear and did it. I started to become more confident little by little, every time a customer came to the shop I practiced my vocabulary and tried to make myself understood and to understand what the customer was saying to me. This helped me a lot to keep improving my English every day.

After finishing my academic English level at Victoria University I felt I had to take another step and continue my studies. I wanted to take on something more in life, As I told you before, I like challenges and this new challenge was even bigger for me, so I decided I wanted to apply to Otago University to do a pathway in health sciences. Again I felt those nerves and the anxiety of knowing if I would be accepted or if I would have to change my course.

I did the application and one of the requirements they asked for was The International English Language Testing System (IELTS) tests. Another challenge in my life, my family always supporting me, me being strong and proud of every step I was taking, but at the same time I was afraid of failing at some point. On the day I did the IELTS my hands were sweating and my body was shaking with nerves, sometimes I doubted my knowledge but I came back stronger and knew that my family was waiting for me to do my best.

It was time to receive my results, that day was another exciting day of mixed feelings, joy, fear, and nerves. The long-awaited envelope was there in the mailbox, I was anxious to receive the expected news. I was hoping for positive news, but at the same time nervous about some negative news, my family was waiting to see the results.

When I opened the envelope I cried with joy, my family cried with me they felt very proud as they knew that I tried hard to achieve something positive, I passed the tests and I was ready to continue with my application to the University of Otago.

Otago was one of the most difficult but at the same time beautiful experiences in New Zealand. Living far from my family and going to live alone was something hard that I had to face, and I confess something, I was not used to sleeping alone, I always slept in the company of my sisters, I am afraid of the dark a challenge not of English but personal that I had to face. There were nights of tears, of missing my family, of feeling alone but fortunately, I met wonderful people who supported me and guided me in this new adventure of my studies in this country.

The pathway in Health Sciences was hard for me, I gave my best but unfortunately, I didn't pass this course. It's a course with a much higher level of English and knowledge and I wasn't prepared for it. Sometimes, not being prepared to fail can be hard for us. I didn't know how to tell my family that I hadn't passed the course without them being disappointed in me. I received some very nice advice from two people who were very supportive of me in Dunedin. We should always take our weaknesses as strengths and our failures as achievements and beautiful experiences that will help us in our lives.
I remember a phrase that mom always told us in moments when we didn't know because
“sometimes negative things happen to us and things always happen for a reason, looking fora change and a new horizon”.

That's when I decided to have the courage to reach out to my family and tell them about my situation. My family supported me, Mom told me that failing, trying again, and continuing to fight with my head held high was wise.

I took this ruling as an opportunity for me and my sisters. I decided to go back to Wellington and proposed to my two younger sisters that we study together, starting from scratch to support each other. We all like the topic of health and helping those who need us, so we decided to start doing the certificate in health and well-being at Weltec.

After this achievement and beautiful walking together as sisters, supporting each other in ups and downs moments, we decided to continue empowering ourselves together for something more.
We decided to start our diploma as Enrolled nurses in Whitireia. My sisters are super proud of themselves and I am most proud of them. Seeing them learning, and fighting to achieve our dreams fills me with a lot of happiness. I know that the language is a little more difficult for them, but there I am supporting them and empowering them to continue with this journey.

When we have tests in any of the subjects, it is a very frustrating day for all of us as we hope that the three of us will do well. Every time I receive my results and I pass, I just hope to see theirs so I can celebrate and feel happy.
We are in our second year of nursing, very happy and with great expectations of graduating if God allows it. My parents were very happy and always attentive at home, the process that the three of us went through with our studies. I would be the proudest woman to see them graduating with me, achieving this goal, and breaking down language barriers in this country.

A new beginning is always full of many opportunities, but it is up to each of us to look at things positively and take advantage of them to our advantage. From my experience, there will always be difficult moments, happy moments, and moments where we feel that we can't take it anymore, but that's where we must be brave, remember the reason for our lives, what we want to achieve in our future and get up.